Noah's Mommy

Jeanna and I got together. The only thing that stopped me from crying is -- Noah. He broke up the slight awkwardness and helped to get us talking. I missed her. So very much. I thank God for his guidance in my life and for bringing us together. Hayley has grown so much. I missed her so much. I hope this isn't the last.

There are so many out there who just don't seem to realize that Christmas is about the birth of Christ and not gifts and lights and shopping. We should all just take a step back and look around at what we do during the holidays and ask why? I seriously only want more time with friends & family. If you want to give something -- give your time (watch their kids, help them with something they can't do them selves, etc.) Material possesions will be there long after we pass away. But those memories will always be there. God Bless You!

So this is Noah's First Holiday that he will actually be mobile. He is still fatherless in a sense. I mean we have established paturnity, but that is just a piece of paper if you will stating the DNA matches. I can't understand how someone who doesn't work can't find time to see Noah. He is the most precious gift in this life. I'm not sure and I've asked for God's guidance on this issue and have stopped worrying about it. I put the tree up today while Noah was at daycare. I figured after a long debate with myself that it would be a battle to try to decorate a tree with a 1.5 year old and no one else to help police (as Melissa said) him. So my tree and what few decorations I have are up. I did it in a record 1 hour 15 minutes (all the time I had). Anyways, I'm trying to better myself and have been taking steps in the right direction. I feel like I'm on the narrow path that isn't the easiest but it is the right one.

Thanksgiving Thanks There are these people in my lives that I'm so grateful for. There are these people that I couldn't get through each day without. Each day some people come in my life. Some days, and these are regrettable days, people leave my life. But each has a lesson. Each has a meaning. And each will always have a place in the end result of who I am. There is a saying that some people are here for a season, reason, or lifetime. Sometimes we don't realize that everyone in our life is not supposed to be there forever. Some help us through our trials and tribulations. Some give us support and guidance. Some teach us something that we might not have otherwise learnt. In the next 24 hours we have a day coming up called "Thanksgiving". During this time every year I try to really think about the past year and what has happened, who has been in my life. The good and bad. The old and new. The close and far. The related & not. This is my dedicat...

This life is a whirl wind. Today is Noah's 1.5 Bithday. =) He is exactly 18 months. Where does time go? Seriously things have changed so much since August 2006. For the better of course. Thanksgiving is soon. Like 2 days. eeeppp. Time with family. Thing is I am with them every day so its just another day but it makes me think of what I have. I wrote a little something that I am going to post on Thanksgiving. On Sunday I'm getting together with Melissa. I miss her. I'm getting tired and we all know (well, only cause I say it) he doesn't sleep good through the night. So I'm off to bed.

In the past few months I've been under a lot of stress, anxiety, fear, and hurt. I've not understood what happened and I realize now that I broke down and when I needed someone the most -- I didn't know who to turn to. So I turned to writing. It always helped me out in the past. I wrote things that were on my mind to hope that they would get out of my mind. Didn't work. It also didn't help with my words were twisted and used against me. Now -- Stop -- I'm not blaming anyone and I don't hate anyone. I have forgiven everyone who has ever done me wrong and I continue to be the nice person and be friendly with everyone. But to be completely honest -- I miss Jeanna. However, I don't miss the 'Best Friend' part, but rather the cousin. I've never been one to be close to too many people and family was/has been in that category. But Jeanna and I got close because I lived closer to her. No, I take that back. It is because I got pregnant an...

I've been slacking but I have good reason. I'm BUSY! I have officially paid off all of my credit card debt but one. However, that is the largest amount. BUT that eliminates about 20 calls a day. I'm all signed up for next semester. =) I have a new computer. The one I had was getting ready to kick the bucket, so I got a Dell Inspiron 1525 and my other laptop is now currently hooking my phone up (I use magicjack) so that is a real plus. I have so much to write but this new laptop keyboard is SO much different than my old one. NEW LIKE>......lol I'm off to bed. I just got Noah to sleep about 20 minutes ago. Hopefully he sleeps in some tomorrow before church.