Confession

I still haven't talked to Mat much.
I think he's nice and I'm glad he's not pushy but at the same time, there's no spark or attraction.
I keep thinking to myself... I should not have to try so hard to want to call him at the BEGINNING.

Instead, I find myself wanting something else.
I find I want to call John (yes, Melissa, the John we both know) more than Mat.
It is weird.
I don't know what to do.

I hate being single but I can't be with someone just to NOT be single.

I wished I was closer to Kalamazoo or my friends were closer to Battle Creek. Some of my closest friends are in K-zoo. But I hardly get to see them. I miss Melissa and her family and I miss John. I really miss John. The thing is that I've hurt him so much in the past because I was not ready for a relationship and wasn't able to tell him I needed to slow down and I forced myself to do it....only to fail later.

Ugh. Confessions are good to get off your chest.
But I'm still confused.

Comments

Unknown said…
If you want a confession, I wasn't very interested in Jason at first, either. ;)

But, if you think about John, you should talk to him.
September 30, 2008 at 1:18 PM
Millisa said…
Serious? I would never have thought that. What did you think of him at first?

Melissa ~ I would but he's dating someone and I don't want to get in between something.
September 30, 2008 at 2:06 PM
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