With HIS Help

In the past few months I've been under a lot of stress, anxiety, fear, and hurt. I've not understood what happened and I realize now that I broke down and when I needed someone the most -- I didn't know who to turn to. So I turned to writing. It always helped me out in the past. I wrote things that were on my mind to hope that they would get out of my mind. Didn't work. It also didn't help with my words were twisted and used against me. Now -- Stop -- I'm not blaming anyone and I don't hate anyone. I have forgiven everyone who has ever done me wrong and I continue to be the nice person and be friendly with everyone. But to be completely honest -- I miss Jeanna. However, I don't miss the 'Best Friend' part, but rather the cousin. I've never been one to be close to too many people and family was/has been in that category. But Jeanna and I got close because I lived closer to her. No, I take that back. It is because I got pregnant and told her and she was estatic.

In the past 3-4 months I've made some big -- huge -- astronomically large -- CHANGES in my life. By far the first one is accepting Jesus Christ into my life. Having him show me to people who would now be called Forever Friends. I know that God had everything to do with it. Anyways... Today, Tonight, Yesterday, Last Week. I want so badly to just have my cousin come talk to me. I don't know why she won't. No one is perfect. Why won't she forgive me enough to talk to me face-to-face? I'm not asking to be a best friend. But we are Blood. I love her and her family. No matter how wrong both of us were -- we are still related.

I fear the worst and have a hard time getting it out on words even now.

But other than that... I'm doing great. I have a flexible job that is about 25-30 Hours a week. I have the best HANDS DOWN daycare provider. I have joined and have become involved in Church EVERY sunday (I don't miss because it throws my whole week off). And last but defintely not least -- I'm in a better situation now Financially than I have been in a long time.

So who do I thank? GOD. Jessica. Melissa. My Mother. My Brother. Myself.

Without them -- I wouldn't be where I am today. I LOVE YOU ALL.

Comments

Unknown said…
:) You're a keeper yourself!

God always finds a way to provide. Of that I am sure. I'm glad that you've been able to find happiness.
November 15, 2008 at 4:54 PM
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